1. Prepare a crust of crushed graham crackers mixed with four pats of margarine stolen from the dining hall. Bake it in a Tupperware bowl for about a minute in the microwave, and allow it to cool and harden.
2. Take one full round of Laughing Cow cheese, smash with a fork, and mix with a cup of vanilla pudding until smooth. Gradually mix in one whole container of Cremora, even though it seems gross. Beat viciously until smooth. Add lemon juice from the squeeze bottle until the mixture starts to stiffen. Note: this will use most of the plastic lemon.
3. Pour into the bowl atop the crust, and put on ice in your bunkie’s cleaning bucket to chill until ready to eat.
Prison Cheesecake recipe from Piper Kerman’s amazing memoir ‘Orange is the New Black.’ Her book hits shelves today and she’s used to it help people see how is serving in our women’s prisons and why. It’s also the titilating story of a Smith grad from the wrong side of the tracks who hits the hippie trails with a girlfriend and make a number of mistakes on the way.
When I met Piper in 1996 (about four years after she was taking cash out of the US) she was one of the most professionally successful people I knew. It wasn’t until she told me she had been indicted in 2003 that I had any idea of her past. Piper’s an amazing writer and amazing person. Her book is going to be a big hit.