kkr:
Which Dolores Park Are You? (via @darkshifter, aynne)
I have observed that Dolores Park is segmented into several distinct and (sub) culturally consistent sections.
A. Hipster Valley
The Northeast corner of the Park (Dolores and 17th) is the realm of the Hipster. I suspect this is because while they can manage the walk from Valencia to Dolores they are too hung-over to make it up the hill.
Do bring: Bike, Enormous Sunglasses, Skinny jeans that show your butt crack when you sit down, Wear black and more black something army-looking works too, Ipods, beer and small speakers are encouraged.
Tips: Sit directly on grass + look bored.
Suggested canine companion: Chihuahuas, mixed breed rescues, and friendly beer drinking pit bulls in bandanas
B. Jocks, Bros and Hos
Weekend warriors, dodge ball players, soccer fans, etc…
Do bring: Spandex, knee pads and some sort of ball to chase around.
Tips: be excessively perky and organized.
Suggested Canine Companion: Golden retriever
C. Latin American Club
The locals. Watching the scene and laughing.
Do Bring: Beer, your homies, your dog
D. The bathrooms
I have only had the pleasure once, but I heard nothing good happens in this place.
Do bring: protection, toilet paper (wet naps if you are tender), a sense of balance and humor
E. Gay cruising + Sunbathing section
Bring: a towel, multi-purpose oils, a thong.
Leave at home: your boyfriend or life partner
Suggested Canine Companion: Pug, French Bulldog
F. Kids and picnickers
bring: diapers, sporks + wet naps
Suggested Canine Companion: none, the kids are enough trouble
G. Geek Section
This seems to be the spot where the digirati can be found
Bring: Food to share, sunscreen, your laptop with VZAccess PCMCIA Card because the free wireless signals are crap and your best portable devices to show off.
H. Hipster overflow and family outing section
I. Scary drunks and Hobo section
Bring: Bags full of bottles for recycling, Old English or Night Train and your invisible friend.for the missionmission boys.
How funny. I definitely know about all the different sections of Dolores Park, but I know them by different names:
A. Fixie Flats, AKA Hipster Hill: The straights call this Fixie Flats. “Hill” seems to be the common moniker for people who don’t hang out in that part of the park.
B. Stoner Field: Everyone I see here are people smoking weed, so there you go.
E. The Fruit Shelf, AKA Speedo Hill: The gays call this The Fruit Shelf, the straight people call this Speedo Hill.
F. El patio de recreo de familes mexicano: Otherwise known by the people more ignorant of the Spanish language as “Los Playground del familias Mexicanos,” because we’re terrible people.
I. The Not Gay Enough for the Fruit Shelf Fruit Shelf: This is the only part of this section where I disagree with birdignited; the people I see here are more like gay hipsters that would never bee seen at the Fruit shelf, but mostly because they’re too tired to walk ALL the way across the park from the Mission. Gay hipsters - or as I like to call them, gipsters!
As far as the shady people, I usually see them congregating under the
bridgepedestrian walking southwest of C.
J: Cool Kids. The San Fran scenesters who sit out along western hill between the Fruit Shelf and the pedestrian walkway over the muni line. This crowd can also be seen between E and I as well as east of F.
Do Bring: Decent wine, discrete cups. Sunday times. Dark sunglasses. Do be okay with mingling dogs.
I: Welcome Matt. Populated by people who haven’t made friends in town yet.
Do bring: 1 book, 1 blanket.
27 notes
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l0calst0ner liked this
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msjuliejulie reblogged this from ernie
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aynne reblogged this from kkr and added:
A year later I find my own Flickr Post from 4 years ago ReBlogged on Tumblr.. Freaky Deaky kkr:
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diannedeguzman reblogged this from kkr and added:
I enjoyed this. I unwittingly always sit in the G. Geek Section. Sounds like me.
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tedr reblogged this from ernie and added:
J: Cool Kids. The San Fran scenesters who sit out along western hill between the Fruit Shelf and the pedestrian walkway...
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geekandahalf liked this
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ernie reblogged this from kkr and added:
How funny. I definitely know about all the different sections of Dolores Park, but I know them by different names: A....
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kkr reblogged this from sadbear and added:
for the missionmission boys.
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joshuanguyen reblogged this from f---yeahsanfrancisco and added:
f—-yeahsanfrancisco:
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generic1 reblogged this from birdignited and added:
“I have observed that...is segmented into several distinct and (sub) culturally consistent...
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birdignited posted this
